I feel like every single day is a dog race. I don’t know why but my workload has more than tripled in the past few months with no indication of decreasing. Yet, my habits have not caught up to the sudden surplus of responsibility. Yesterday, I spent an hour and a half in Target. This morning, I received an email from KY telling me that I’ve got to do something because there’s no time.
Being pressured to do something as a last-minute activity is very stressful, and it is not how I want to serve in ministry. I understand time-sensitive situation that we are currently in where every day matters. I knew full well what I signed up for. Yet, I do not want what his happening right now to be the normal dynamics of how our ministry operates.
How can we serve in a surplus serving instead of a deficit? In other words, we need to build a structure to move away from deficiency needs and focus on growth needs. We need to work in the ministry, but as leaders, we need to also learn how to take a step back and work ON the ministry.
This goes to show how little long-term guidance this ministry has had in recent years. I agree with TC that we should give people freedom to accomplish a task and not guide them every single step of the way. However, we should give them all the tools and resources that they would possibly need to be successful.
Another aspect that makes me feel frustrated is how unsure and vague everything is. Yesterday, I learned that the illegitimate social media accounts, a huge detriment to this ministry, were finally taken down. If you include the strange financial behavior from recent days, I wonder what others were thinking. Is this a gesture of kindness to open up communication, or are they backtracking and trying to cover up past mistakes for when there is a call for legitimate reconciliation.
The time that I have been serving in my ministry has been eating up time that I’m supposed to be using for my first year as a teacher. Everyone knows that this occupation is stressful. Especially the first year.
Although I have many frustrations, I love serving in this ministry. Despite my frustrations, I have never felt so tight-knit to to a team in all my years serving in leadership. The time and effort and the care that everyone puts in this ministry is something that I would like to imitate in the future.
I’ve been thinking about how to be more productive, but I also want to make sure that I do everything with completeness and fullness according to the advice given by RY, an older ministry attendee.