Often Zhan

2 minute read

Recently, I’ve been employing an amazing trick to help me keep secrets away from my significant other! This has been something that I’ve been struggling with for a very long time. It is very hard for me to NOT be honest. It’s also very hard for me to keep a secret. People called me an open book, but I am more like a binder that has fallen onto the floor spilling all of the loose leaf binder paper.

My secret is this: I have two journals. One is specifically designed to be given to Maybe when all the dust has settled. She can read about all of my stress at her own leisure. I also have another notebook secretly tucked away that she will read when I am dead. Or she can burn it. These are the “I don’t ever want to talk about this subject again.” topics.

There we go! I get to be completely secretive, but also I get to be completely honest and forthright. It’s only a matter of time! I’ve completely side-stepped “How” by placing it onto “When”. I’m ready for my Nobel Peace Prize now. And OH MY, I have so much juicy secrets. Frustrating secrets. This is a game-changer!

There is one caveat to this solution. I’m so enthusiastic in writing to old Maybe, I frequently think I’ve already discussed it with current Maybe. Oh well. That’s a risk I’m willing to take.


Often Zhan

1 minute read

I am not asking about “Love” the emotion, but “Love” the action.

I try to show “Love” by telling her about my stressful day. Allow her to share in my suffering. (Don’t ask me why. After writing it down, it does not make sense. I’m silly.)

For her, she shows “Love” by sharing with me her current financial plan including her brokerage accounts and daily food expenditures.

We are on two completely different wavelengths. So why am I still with her?

Because when those wavelengths sync… Oh! What a beautiful moment that is!!!

- Often

Often Zhan

1 minute read

Dear Maybe,

You are the coolness of a shade on a hot day, a cool breeze a warm night, the warm radiance of a fire on a winter’s day.

Yours forever, Often

Often Zhan

1 minute read

To my sexy fox,

When I die, I want you to publish my journals. Feel free to edit them and cut out unnecessary or inappropriate information. HA! I can just imagine you scouring through my journal flustered and embarrassed. When you publish my works, people will debate on whether your broad edits will be considered a co-authorship or my sole ownership. Imagining your frustration in editing my work provides me with immeasurable gleeful joy.

Be sure to capture the essence of who I am and the purpose of my writing when you remove words, sentences, and paragraphs. I’ll be sure to make your task of fulfilling my dying request as difficult as possible.

May your slender curves be forever transfixed in my mind, my dearest “Mayflower”.

Your pilgrim,
Often Zhan