my checklist for a potential mate
“get/have your ducks in a row: to be well prepared or well organized for something that is going to happen.”
– Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary Thesaurus
This was the test that I used from 2010–2015 to measure a potential woman’s attractiveness.
I forgot who told me, but an older married man once mentioned, “I made a list of qualities that I wanted for my future spouse so that I would know who I should be looking for when finding my future spouse. Also, I made a list for myself to make sure that all my ducks are in a row when I met my future spouse.” He didn’t say it outright, but his underlying question was “Would my ideal woman be interested in a guy like me?” When pondering this question, I decided to not to spend my time to look for “The One” but rather strive to make myself “The One” for my future spouse.
Funny thing… I lost the list for myself but never lost my list for the “ideal woman”. However, I do think that this list can (and should!) apply to myself. Over time, I’ve used, updated, and adapted this list, and eventually made it into a measuring stick for the attractiveness of a potential mate. I haven’t used this list ever since I got into a serious relationship (for obvious reasons).
The current draft (Version 2.5) is still a little outdated. The last time I updated this list was in 2013.
The Duck Row test still very rough, but that is understandable because I probably spent a total of less than 5 hours working on it including drafting and updating. (Note to self: I should reexamine the test and make a new, updated version in the nearby future.)
Everytime, I showed someone my Duck Row test, they have either been deeply offended or espoused full support. I understand that this test sounds awful. It means that every potential mate I’ve met since making this test has been churned through this list resulting in a numerical value of attractiveness. BUT, I’ve only used this test for 5-6 women. Also, if she had a low score, I don’t dismiss her outright. I’ve never placed this test in high regard. Even so, I still find this test useful in its limited application.
I decided to show it in the blog for:
- Archival Reason - I don’t want to lose this list.
- Sentimental Reasons - I occasionally refer to this list because this was my first real list.
The Duck Row Test
In this current version, I organized the test under The 7 Dimensions of Wellness as well as an additional 8th category of personal preference.
The points are added up in the end and measured from a scale of 0-100.
|Conflict Management Skills||3|
|Involved in Community (Leadership Role)||2|
|Avoids Drama & Gossip||3|
|Socially Concious (PDA, Discussing Sensitive Issues in Public)||2|
|Not a Clean-Freak||2|
|Strong Sense of Independence||2|
|Level Headed in Heated Situations||2|
|No Mood Swings||2|
|Not Overly Needy||3|
|Comfortable with her body||3|
|Works on Improving Oneself||5|
|Strong Sense of Moral Code||4|
|Low Budget Fashion||2|
|Does Not Smoke||4|
|No Tattoos (or non-visible when wearing clothing)||2|
|Plays a Sport||2|
|Enviromentally Concious in Decision Making||1|
|Recycles and Composts||1|
|Metal Water Bottle||0.5|
|Makes it a Point to Turn off Lights||0.5|
|Has Short Hair||2|
|Plays an Instrument||2|
|Likes Coffee but not Addicted||1|
|Laughs at my Corny Jokes||2|
|Not deathly allergic or against: milk, gluten, fish, meat…||2|
|Passion for Chinese Ministry||3|
Here is the added values of all of the major categories.
Score Interpretation 0-50 → Do Not Pursue 51-74 → Unlikely Candidate 75-100 → Potential Mate
|1.0||Original Draft - Unorganized|
|2.0||Organized under 7 Dimensions of Wellness and also Personal Preferences.|
|2.5||Adapted the list to apply to a working adult.|